sick of cliches

2008-02-11T01:29:00.000+08:00

after 401 posts,
i have decided to move.

im sorry blogger. i love you. u've been great.

BUT DONT BE FUCKING SURPRISED IF I COME BACK TO YOU. hahahah

i feel sad. for moving. idk why.

CAPEK

2008-02-09T03:06:00.000+08:00

i.shall.not.eat.mcdonalds.any.more.
i.have.to.resist.the.temptation.
thunders.getting.bigger.

hello world.
im off to sentosa tml with seth cohen lookalike.
try not to call me on my cell.
try not to text me.
do even bother to find me online.
i will be back late.

have a great saturday!

lo kgn sm aku ya?

2008-02-08T15:33:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of my death last night. i saw my lifeless body on the autopsy table.

beaten,
pale,
dead.

i was standing there. looking at myself in disbelieve.
i could feel the water on me when they washed all the blood off me.
i could feel them cutting me up.
i searched for people. no one could see me.
only one could.
i asked him to find the person who did that to me.
he said everything will be fine.

i woke up,
happy to be alive.

is god trying to tell me something?
and if i die that way, i'll be so fucking sad.

helllllooo

2008-02-08T05:49:00.000+08:00

hello mofos,
meet my fluent indonesian speaking lover;
Seth.

isnt it funny how we've known each other for 7 years. and only now did we get close.

sometimes at times like this do i miss you the most.
i really wish you would come back.

ezlink card i have

2008-02-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

fun day today with gfs and new found bfs. hahaha.

eating,
sheesha-ing,
fun games
and loads loads of laughter. hohoho.

i want more more moreeeee.
lets book chalet peopleee.

and thank you BADABINGWANZAIBONTOTIN for accompanying me just now. heh. lain kali kau ikot skali kite g sheesha okayyyyyy

mooo whuttt? moooolllaahhhsssss!

2008-02-06T01:33:00.001+08:00

moo whutt?
moolaaaaaahssss.

yea yea yea yea yea.

and i think today is ghost day.
the lrt i was in is haunted i think.
damn scary. cb.
no more last lrt rides for me.
no no no.

but in a lighter note,
MOOOOOLLLAAAHHSSSSS.
yeah yeah yeah.

helloo foxy lady

2008-02-05T01:30:00.000+08:00

leg pain lahhhh.
sorry aliff. for making you wait 45 mins at ang mo kio and making you pissed. haha.
thank you for fetching me.
tyvm bitch.

kau babi shitface.
suke carik pasal ngan aku.
kau main bola bukannyer betol.
and kau pon bukan caoch.
cb anjing sial.
kau main bola betol2 dulu uh baru nak tegur aku.
sial. sial. sial.
da perempuan buat hal perempuan k.
takmo act as if u have a fucking dick.
reality check woman.
u will always have a bloody pussy. so dont act as if ur so manly. fucker.

i need to stop missing you.
i need to stop thinking.
i want to stop being squidward.

moving on

2008-02-04T03:17:00.000+08:00

you might not know this, but i blame myself for everything that has happen. and i hate myself for letting things turn out the way it did.
i miss you. and i know you're not coming back.
i miss you. and i want you to know that i did loved you. that i was for real. that i wanted it to last. that i wanted you to always be there for me.

tonight im letting go.
because i know you've made up your mind.
somehow, i know i will never be more than just a friend to you.
you were a great lover. but a better friend, i guess.

ily.
imy.
and im sorry.

cant wait for payday.
moooolaaahhhhhhhhhssssssssssssss. i can smell them already. comeon starbucks. dont let me down this month.

ten

2008-02-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

attention gfs.

we HAVE to go
sentosa for a relaxing tanning session,
sheesha at arab street,
BRING ME TO ESCAPE THEME PARK pasal aku kental tk perna pegi langsong,
camwhoring session. fana please bring ur kamera
or,
lets book a chalet, we bbq the whole day,play games,invite people and have lots of fun.

im up for other suggestions. we have 10 fucking weeks people. TEN.

yay!

2008-02-03T20:54:00.001+08:00

yay holiday.

i will waste my life away by sleeping,smoking and working.

goodbye

2008-02-03T01:12:00.000+08:00

i actually got all emo watching the class video benson made. i seriously am gonna miss the class. you guys have been there through my break up[s],through my pms-ness and what not, when i got all crazy and irritated everyone, when i came to class with a bloody hangover.

you guys were great.

to serene and yihao;

u guys are the best smoking buddies ever. serene still owe me 2 sticks. hahaha

to kampong melayu people;

awesome bitching sessions and makan session. keep in touch.

to nick;

thank you for the constant music entertainment in class. hah!

to yana.j;

thank you for getting me this job. aku syg kau. hahaha

to w15k;

u guys are great people. cant wait for the bbq.

hangover

2008-02-02T12:38:00.000+08:00

im gonna miss seeing this two people in class. :(

hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover

hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover

hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover

hangover hangover hangover hangover hangover

hangover hangover hangover hangover

hangover hangover hangover

hangover hangover

hangover

lolipop

lolipop lolipop

lolipop lolipop lolipop

lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop

lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop

lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop

lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop

lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop

lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop

lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop lolipop

i found the lolipop! yay.

and renny,

dont be sad. the party might have not gone as planned. but we still had shitloads of fun. :)

yana yana.

i should have thrown away my phone. i hate it when i msg people i dont want to msg.

damnit.

youuuuuu

2008-02-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

sheesha date with izza and haida. sheesha is really really very addictive. maybe its relaxing. great place, great ambience, great vibes and awesome music. had a good talk with the girls about everything under the sun. boys,girls,relationship,marriage,school. great great deep talk with the girls. i kinda feel like we bonded more that night. soon it will be the whole lot of us. confirm gerek. cant wait.

yesterday was photoshoot day with the girls. haida, kau nyer hp is the best. hahahaha.

renny's bdae party tml. cant fucking wait. booze and ciggies and great people.

and.

here are videos. kelakar. aku yg buat, aku yg kekek sendiri. hahaha warch them in sequence!!!

romeo romeo, wherefore art thou romeo

2008-01-30T22:58:00.000+08:00

o lolipop lolipop, wherefore art thou lolipop?

i lost it. i feel sad. it wasnt just a lolipop. its THE lolipop.

sorry everyone.

for being cranky, sad and all weird today.

suddenly, i had the i-miss-you syndrome.

geez.

believe it or not, im hooked on shakespear's romeo and juliet.

i want my own romeo montague.

i swear,

if i find someone like him,

i will stop smoking.

and stop eating as much.

promise.

maybe i should switch to lj.

they have that lj cut thingy

should i? should i not.

ok bye?

i wanna edit pictures.

tonight we drink to youth

2008-01-30T14:27:00.000+08:00

picture overload soon. and update on monday sheesha date with the ever so hot izza and ever so cute haida.

and i want to go incubus!!!!

$95* till December 31 2007
$115* from Jan 1 to 31 2008
$125* from Feb 1 to March 7 2008

so damn fucking expensive. but its worth the money.

incubus
incubus
incubus
incubus
incubus.
i missed a fucking PA job for muse and their concert,i missed fallout boy, i missed mcr, but i sure wont miss incubus.

TSONGA WO AI NI, NI YAO KEN WO JIE HUN MAH?

2008-01-27T23:15:00.000+08:00

TSONGA
TSONGA
TSONGA.

i dont play the clarinet la people.
dont take it literally.
i said, i wanna be like squidward right, u know tt squid from spongebob who plays the clarinet.
ya allah
you all uh.

crash and burn

2008-01-27T02:35:00.000+08:00

i came home, and found a whole box filled with doughnuts!!!!!!
written on it is a note:

enjoy the doughnuts, love mum

so sweet. happy birthday mummy. ilysm
and and, since im depressed and all, i will eat the doughnuts and play my clarinet when im done.

goodnight suckers.

you'll get burnt if you play with fire

2008-01-26T14:08:00.000+08:00

i tried to cry last night,
but i just cant.
and i realised i wasnt sad at all.
it was more of disappointment than sadness.
i could have walked out on you.
but i choose to stay.
i did anything i could to make it work, in fact, i did anything to show you that im serious about wanting things to work out.
but did you even try?
try to love me more with each day?
you gave up.

saying sorry will not make me feel any better.
i feel sucky.
now, i will be grumpy and cranky like squidward.

goodbye,
i shall play my clarinet now.

sucky is the word

2008-01-25T15:31:00.001+08:00

tonight, after im done with closing, i will reach home, have a long shower, exfoliate my pores, wear something comfy and cry my heart out.

i will let everything out.
and tml,
i will wake up,
felling better.
no more thoughts of you. nothing.
i will meet up my girls,
for a great unwinding session.
no tears, nothing. just laughter.

now, i feel sucky.
im sick
im sad
and i need someone to be my pillar of strength.

you ended up just like the rest.
goodbye.

and im done with people and their cliches.

:(

2008-01-25T12:14:00.000+08:00

:(

is there anything left to say?
im sorry
im miss you.

i just wish you would talk to me.

:(
:(
:(
:(

A D A A P A D E N G A N M U ?

2008-01-24T13:51:00.001+08:00

FINE!

i get it.
we shall not talk.
i shall not talk.

lamina ooz ym ssim I

2008-01-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

im
bored
bored
bored
bored
bored.

do you realise, that with each day,
our conversations are getting more and more boring.
we're begining to sound like mats and minahs.
with nothing intellectual to talk about. (not that we've been having intellectual conversations tt is. roar!)
okok.
nothing interesting to talk about.
and sometimes i say things to intentionally hurt you.
im sorry.
im sorry for being sucha meanie.
you know what?
you have always been my favourite boy.
no fireman,policeman,national soccer player can get in the way of tt.

maybe its me.
maybe im bored.
i think its starting again.
that, i-need-a-change feeling.
but i dont want a change.
i want you. wait, i havent finish the sentence yet
to know, that i miss you alot alot alot.
yes yes, i know, i see you everyday, blah blah blah.
but its not the same. as before.

busuk uh kau yana.

my bestfriend danny is going away to taiwan soon.
2 bloody fucking months.
how?
i miss you la cb.
you always so busy with zouk and ns.
then u gg taiwan.
u better be home
for my super hot super dope sweet
18.
if not, i'll hate you forever and ask zouk to ban you.
hahaahahaha

uoy htiw evol ni ma llits i dna ouy ssim i,EVOL
llac enohp yreve retfa em evol uoy taht em gnillet uoy ssim i dna

cranky :(

2008-01-23T16:30:00.000+08:00

im sick,

im cranky,

im broke.

sigh.

i hate this.

maybe its the lack of sleep?

or maybe too much sleep.

heh.

this upcoming holiday,

im gonna have more sleep.

work more,

clean up the mess in my room,

boho shopping,

date with gfs

and hopefully,

a date with you. well, because i miss you.

goodbye

2008-01-22T12:16:00.000+08:00

i shall blog today in fuck/nb language.

fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. fucking fucked fucks fucked. nb fucked fucking fuck fuckity fuck. fuckity fucked fuckkkkkkkkkk.

berlari-lari ku mencarimu

2008-01-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

radhi from oag is the only malaysian that can make me go crazy.

i love his voice
i love him.
i would marry him if he was single. eventhough he's malaysian.

merpati putih is playing on repeat.
i know its a super old song.
but heck.
i love radhi.

goodbye.
i know this is random.
maybe im missing you.
maybe not.
maybe. im losing grip.

happy boho you mofos

2008-01-19T17:36:00.000+08:00

im so happy.
im a happy boho.

thanks ah you for making my night.
though u were half conscious, smelly and sweaty
i still love it.

happy birthday kamaRUDEdin.

2008-01-18T11:52:00.000+08:00

bapak aku sia tu!

yesterday's happenings
-lost my new pack of ciggs on the way to school
-confrontation -_-'
-skipped class
-dinner at bugis with izza the hardcore turn boho sometimes top model
-inpromptu sheesha date with her
-mcdonalds delivery to one fullerton for fana/mary kate/keeper

loads of fun sheesha-ing at haji lane. should do more. at last izza and i finally had our sheesha date tt was long awaited and overdued. awesome.

ok bye people.

till then, i shall be known as yana nicole keller as from now on. hahahahaha

and happy birthday dad!
i will always be your one and only daughter. NOTE: ONE AND ONLY

till then, bye people.

i still hate ya'll and you can suck my boho finger. hah!

love in nu rave

2008-01-18T00:42:00.000+08:00

"find love in nu rave"

izza's lappy is the sex. i mean, rp's lappy is the sex. the fun day i had today shall be posted soon. toodles.

2008-01-16T16:14:00.001+08:00

ok people.

get over it.

anyway,
if u feel like im jealous,
then alright,
if it makes ur pussy happy.
then well, oh well.

good luck zarina bte abdul rahman and your friends who have been there for u "all this while". semoga kau bahagia pasal aku ni kan cemburu sgt. good luck have fun.
ok byebye.

2008-01-16T11:34:00.000+08:00

come on people lets chill.
lets meet up in school
and say it to my face.
oh oh,
so it to my big fat eye,loser face!

i'll be at the carpark from 12-2 plus
since ur from rp and all.

this is what we call true friend

2008-01-16T01:17:00.000+08:00

this is what a true friend is like. i love fana. gay or not. i love you fana. hoho

fana keeper. says:
...YANA..U NOE WHAT.AT TIMES LIKE THIS.I JUST PRAY..THAT I WILL STAY AS UR CLOSEST FRIEND..AND WILL NVR TURN INTO UR ENEMY.
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH 5 YEARS.
LET IT BE...ONGOING.
.Premonitions says:
same here
never sia
promise eh no guys will ever get in the way
fana keeper. says:
YES PROMISE. THIS IS MY VOW TO U
.Premonitions says:
mine too
ive had too many "gfs" backstabbing me
fana keeper. says:
uh huh
.Premonitions says:
wah
kau buat aku emotional sial
fana keeper. says:
tahu takpe ah.
.Premonitions says:
besok aku nak pelok kau sampai aku nangis
haha
fana keeper. says:
aku nak nangis sial
aku nak kau.paste this convo at ur blog

2008-01-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

hello panda and some girl.

i feel so scared.
ooouhhh.
im childish?
how about you.
i am still a kid anyway.
who are u to judge me anyway.

so, just buzz off.
ur no good either.
isnt it fuuny how each time i have a bitch post about someone,
a "bloghopper" happens to reach my blog.
hmmmm.
how coincidental.

tml i will wake up a bigger bitch.

GOTCHA!!!!!

2008-01-15T14:40:00.000+08:00

ISNT IT WEIRD HOW PEOPLE CAN GO AROUND THINKING THAT MY FRIENDS AND I ARE JEALOUS OF THEM.

there is really nothing to be jealous about. like really.
nothing.
hmmm...

jealous about the fact that you and ur bf are happy? hmmm. hasnt it occured to you that i got to him first?

how you can have a perfect family? hmmmm. perfect indeed.

how you can dance so well? oh yeah baby. gimme more. i am so envious on how u can do repeated steps so well. I AM SO FUCKING JEALOUS.

AND HOW YOU CAN GET THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD TO BE AGAINST ME? GUESS WHAT HONEY? EVEN BEFORE YOU GO AROUND PLAYING THE BITCH, IVE DONE IT FIRST. YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM THE ULTIMATE BITCH AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT.

YES.
I FUCKING BITCH ABOUT YOU.

YES.
I FUCKING TALK ABOUT YOU. EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT YOU IS AN EYESORE.
TO THE WAY YOU DRESS, THE WAY YOU GO AROUND ACTING ALL GOODIE GOODIE. EVERY SINGLE THING.

AND

NO!
I AM NOT FUCKING JEALOUS OF YOU. NEVER. EVEN WHEN WE WERE FRIENDS, I WAS NEVER FUCKING ENVIOUS OF YOU.

so get your facts right honey.

the only reason i talk and bitch about you, is because i fucking despise you. every single inch of you is despicable and i hate it. sorry honey, i am way better than you. though i may be a fucking bitch, i have friends who are way better than you. and i can find a bf wayy better than yours.

this is for you too. read this blog http://shakethatbooty.livejournal.com/

goodbye mr a

2008-01-14T16:49:00.000+08:00

i
am
hungry.

ive been having nightmares.
i hate nightmares.
but it feels so good to wake up and know that its just a dream.

and.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

and so it seems, i do have the last laugh!

meowy miss _______.

2008-01-13T01:33:00.000+08:00

do you know how it feels?

to be so excited to finish work

and to know that,

soon,

u'll be at home talking to him.

but,

effort wasted again.

you know what i miss most about you?

i miss you telling me how much you miss me

i miss you telling me how much you loved me

i miss you telling me how much you needed me

i miss you telling me, that you've been waiting for me to come home so you can talk to me

i miss you sending me a text at the exact moment i finish working

i miss how you would idiotically say "you" and wink at me everytime i turn to look at you

i miss how you would blush each time you kiss me

i miss our late night random phone conversations

maybe im hoping too much from you.

maybe i should have told you,

that i needed you.

that i want you to love me.

that i want you to miss me.

that i want you to stay.

i shouldnt have acted as if i didnt care.

because i do. i do care.
because ive been lying all this while when i told you im not sad. that im not disappointed. that i didnt care.i thought i could be okay. but im not okay.

and i hate how i always see you in school and we pretend like nothing is wrong. when you and i know that everything is a mess. that i am hurting. love, dont leave me hanging this way.

after this post,

i will stop. stop feeling. i want to be numb. because i guess thats the best way for me to stop thinking so much. atleast i know that right now, you know how much i miss you. and never did a day go by that i didnt think of you. i miss you alot. i just wish you miss me as much as i miss you. :(

im so emotional these days. i need to be stronger.

your call

2008-01-12T12:40:00.000+08:00

eh nb.
nothing ever works these days.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

just give me one day.
one day of not having to think.
and this rock for a heart is not helping also.
maybe i should trade my heart in the blackmarket.

me:"apek, lu mau hati tak? lu kasi gua itu iphone, gua kasi lu hati gua."
apek:"SOLD!"

ive been having nightmares of me turning into a fat, pink eyebrowed, friendster tit flasher minah! nabey.i will not let that happen to me.

2008-01-11T20:45:00.000+08:00

i am so so so disappointed.
nb.
im in so much denial that i dont even know who i am anymore.

i want to get fat now.
im so sad, that ive been eating alot.
if i get fat,
its all your fault!
NB

2008-01-11T19:42:00.000+08:00

meow meow,
meow meow meow meow meow meow. meow meow meow meow meow?

maybe i should stop caring.
ive been chasing and it has gotten me no where.
im sorry.
:(

meowy meow meow meow meow.

seventh avenue

2008-01-10T18:35:00.000+08:00

i miss going out on a date with you.i really do.
do you feel the same way?

window shopping with the girls just now.
awesome.
but it was raining.
tskk

2008-01-09T22:54:00.000+08:00

BY DEFINITION ROCK BALLS!

unfortunately, singaporeans makes the worse ever crowd.
NABEY, MOSH LA SIAL.
IF REPUBLICANS CAN MOSH TO DANCE DANCE BY FALLOUT BOY, WHY U CANNOT?
NABEY CHEEBYE.
HORRIBLE CROWD.
GO AND DIE LA.
DUNNO HOW TO BE A FUCKING GOOD CROWD.

i still love by definition. i think fendi sucked. eyy why i watch singapore tv channel?
nabey. got cable for what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we ♥ cheap things

2008-01-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

can u fucking believe it?
i managed to find stainless steel/surgical steel whatever steel naval ring for just
one dollar.
one fucking dollar.
a dollar.
ONE.
UNO.
SATU.
YI.

ok random la.

today,
i did a good deed.

are you happy today?
yes i am. although im sick. yes im happy

fantastic.

ripples is nowhere to be found!

2008-01-09T14:13:00.000+08:00

nabey.
been waking up late for scool these days.
ive become the person i thought i never would be.
ive stop prioritising.
ive put work before studies.

geez.
i dont even have time for myself these days.
thank god for off days.
wont have to work till sat.
i gotta make sure i wake up on time,
meet the girls
and reach school on time.

and.
i told ya my intentions will always transcribe to actions.
told ya.
yay for me.

ohoh.
did i mention im addicted to mcdonalds
beef prosperity burger and the twister fries thingy.
i am so totally in love with it.
i will eat it everyday if i can.
i dont care if i get fat.
mcdonalds is one heck of an investment.
i dont care.

ok bye everyone. happy vb-ing and PalaButoL-ing.

its not over tonight,
just give me one more chance to make it right.
i wont make it through the night.
i wont go home without you.
-maroon 5, wont go home without you.

yana should shut up.

2008-01-05T23:37:00.000+08:00

i think ive turned psycho.

everynight before i sleep,
i keep picturing me,
getting a tall for here mug,
adding 3 pumps of mocha,
steaming milk,
pressing that one shot button,
then looking at the verissmo as it releases the espresso shot,
then me stiring the mug
and adding the milk. and topping off that drink with whipped cream.
i swear,
this morning i woke up stressed up.
because i thought i was late for work.
when in actual fact, its my fucking off day.

anyho,
this season,
im going boho.
izza is joining me in this quest.
something new,
but im pretty excited.

cant you see that my entries are all messed up.
they dont make sense anymore.

i kept slapping myself back to reality everytime i pick up the phone to send you a text.
i mean literally slapped myself.
im just joking.
why am i treating this as though its the end of the world.

its not, right?
so much to look forward to.

yana,
shut up.

i think i need to smoke.
maybe its just the menses.

yeah,
definately the hormones talking.

and remember asswipes,

boho is the way to go.

2008-01-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

i
have
to
get
over
this.

:(

2008-01-02T23:34:00.000+08:00

i wonder why each time i fall in love with someone, he always ends up walking away. or dissappear. this feeling that im feeling right now, is so fucked up. im willing to work a 13 hour shift because i had to stop thinking about this feeling. or about you.

i wish someone will just knock me unconscious right now and i'll wake up with amnesia. and i wont have to remember how im missing you so much. and how things went wrong. and how i feel like i need you so badly. i hate myself. i hate myself for always putting myself in this situation. for always getting emotionally attached to people. i shouldnt be feeling this way. and i hate how it doesnt help at all when i keep telling myself that i dont need you as much as i think i do.

i want to be stronger. i need to stop this urge of looking for you everytime. i have to stop thinking about you. i know i have to take a few step back. give you the space you need. or maybe, i should just go away. go far far far away from you. because this always happens. and ive grown so numb to it. atleast i thought i did.

you know what yana?
you should just shut up.
shut up.
and bloody well shut up.
or maybe
you should just jump down.
or
get amnesia.
because i hate the state that im in.
i shouldnt be feeling this way.

but heck,
i want you to know,
that yes i miss you.
i miss you alot. alot alot alot.
and i think im crazy.

but its ok. because i will stop.
stop being so clingy.
stop being so attached.
well,
because im driving you away.
or maybe,
ive already drove you away.

i wonder why i always screw up at this.
jeez.

how come im always second best?

2008-01-02T13:33:00.000+08:00

happy new year. to friends ,family ,lovers ,enemies ,collegues classmates ,x classmates ,x collegues ,x lovers ,strangers ,accuintances ,partners ,bestfriends ,former bestfriends etc etc.

though we may not always see eye to eye and we may not be in the best of terms, but undeniably, you make me who i am. so keep doing what you do. i hope this year will be a better year.

new year resoultion

2007-12-30T11:03:00.000+08:00

THIS is my new year's resolution for 2007. i did manage to achieve some of it. heh. but truthfully, i forgot all about it by the second week of jan. i havent thought of anything yet. but plently of cliches came up. like, stop smoking, lose weight, NEVER FALL IN LOVE. this are all oh so lame. i really cant think of anything for 2008. except to party as much as i can when i turn 18. so new year prolly gonna come late for me.

somehow, i have this sinking feeling in my gut that slowly, we're drifting. though, im still clinging on to that, although dim, glimmer of hope.

is this the part where we drift apart and stop talking altogether?

sigh.

tong ting tong

2007-12-29T11:45:00.000+08:00

this is prolly gonna be depressing. but heck.

idk if everytime i feel dissapointed,sad,angry and when i feel like crying, is it a sign of deep affections for you? or is it because im angry at myself for putting myself in this situation. why why why why why? im usually the one who gets angry. gets pissed. gets all pms. i never was this patient. i would have walked away by this time. walked away because im frustrated and tired. tired of all that waiting. but im still here. still waiting. still hoping. yes, hoping. hoping for better days with you. better times with you. but still, this is the first time i feel so appreciative. of everything. i took each day like there wasnt going to be another date. with others, i used to not bother. i took everything for granted. this time, its different. maybe, you're different.

and idk why i get all paranoid. especially when you say the wrong things.
"am i good enough?"
"am i good enough?"
"am i good enough?"
"am i good enough?"
"am i good enough?"
"am i good enough?"
"am i good enough?"
then i ask myself
"are u looking for something more? or maybe less?"
"am i doing too much? should i take a few steps back?"
"should i?"
then i get all stressed up and emotional. and then you always make things better. and it reassures me. for awhile.

i have so much to tell you. but i just dont know how to put it to words. idk how to say it to you. or maybe i dont want to. i want to write it down. for you to read and know my feelings for you. but then, blogging about it would mean that others would read it too. and it would lose its significance. theres just so much things running through my head. everyone of them wanting to be set free. but im holiding back. maybe im waiting for something to happen. something miraculous.

whatever it is that im going through, i want to go through it with you. every step of the way. ive always been alone. and keeping mum was always the best route out of things. maybe i should just keep it that way. you keep doing what you do. and i, keep doing what i do.

i dug a grave too deep for me to get out. im in too deep. and turning back is definately not an option.

i hope you're not second guessing. but if you do, then...

maybe i should just shut up.

but still,
i ♥ you, my lover. more than anything else.
i'll stay because i want to. not because you want me too.
and i want you to feel the same way.

nyokap, lu berak ya?

2007-12-29T01:10:00.000+08:00

aku benci hari ini. hari ini aku will blog in malay. tapi nampaknyer mcm susah gitu.

pelanggan yg datang store one fullerton starbucks nari perangai mcm anjing mintak kene tembak. satu satu perangai mcm sundal. tak bole tahan. menyusahkan aku je. banyak banyak hari, hari ini aku paling benci dapat pos. kenape? pasal hari ini hari babipukimak.

ok da.

apparently speaking in malay is way much more easier. i envy how others can write very well in malay. i wonder how i made through secondary school. hah.

and also, i hate it when people suddenly write like me. its just so irritating. i know la this is totally unnecessary. but still, i hate it. and i cant stand it. its just so irritating.

benci uh. sume aku buat kau buat. kalau aku mampos kau pon nak mampos?

i
m
y

happy very very happy

2007-12-28T00:07:00.000+08:00

besides christmas, today is definately by far THE most awesomest most awesome of awesomeness day ever.i had fun, truckloads of fun with you today. although we were broke,hungry,thristy,sandy and err.. ya. hahaha.

we didnt take any pictures today. next time ok. but it would have been great to get to camwhore with you. haha.

thank you. for making today so great. i hope you enjoyed yourself as much as i did.

this time, im certain i will stay. for sure.

amek kau gambar

2007-12-25T22:14:00.001+08:00

FIRST DAY:
we reached colmar tropical after million of hours on the road. the place was so so so so sososososososos damn fucking boring. haha. what a way to start our holiday right? we went karaoke at night. and it was super fun.

did you notice that parts of my hair is blue? haha. this is what happens when u ride in a car for 5 hours filled with kids who happen to have blue hair gel. but it looks good. im thinking of highlighting my hair blue. NEXT PAY UH.

ive always wanted to be taller than someone. hah

wats karaoke without makarena and lagu dangdut? haha. gerek kepeeeeee.

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, i present to you, the next pussycat doll. and i swear that she was the one who did that to her shirt. swear. SECOND DAY:
we were all set and ready to go to KL! but before that we went to the rabbit farm. the rabbits were so super uber cute. mcm nak bawak balik.

this little girl is so cute. she asked me to take this pic of her and her dad because she said:
lil girl:"KAKAK, GOT RABBIT ESCAPE."
me:"where?"
lil girl:"NIII. (holding her dad's arm). cepat amek gambar. later the rabbit run. hahahahaha

we then headed to some sedare house. since it was on the way.

before reaching KL, we stopped for durians. seronok sekali. hahahahahahahah. [inside joke]

THIRD DAY:
we woke up late. was suppose to go shopping early in the morning. so everything was postponed. it was boring coz i couldnt buy anything. everything there was just so expensive. so me and the "naughty bunch" [long story], sneaked off, hid somewhere and smoked. haha. tt was by the the best part of the trip. hahaha. damn thrilling. we then set off to the malaysian observation wheel. AND I SWEAR IT WAS THE MOST BORING RIDE EVER. after that we went to petaling street to do some last minute, cheepo shopping.

i look anal in this pic. haha. and this woman beside me, is my saviour. if she didnt let me use her hp, i bet i would be missing someone more. heh. thanks aunt. ily.

we didnt take any pictures on the last day. everyone was so tired. and i fell sick. and nobody was in the mood. but overall, it was fun. because my family was there. and its always fun to be around family aye?

im happy to be back! and im happy i got to see u ystd. heh.

meow

2007-12-25T17:55:00.000+08:00

idk if im most afraid to lose you or that i might give up.

idk why im feeling this way.

maybe i should stop trying to figure out whats going on. and lets things go on naturally. but this is so not me.

can i take a rest and stop chasing?

no no no.

im not giving up. yet.

merry christmas everyone. i don celebrate christmas. but last night was one heck of a christmas party. cant wait for the new year.

christmas rocks!

2007-12-25T03:47:00.000+08:00

this is by far the best christmas ever. period.

this year, santa knows ive been a good good girl. he gave me the best best bestest christmas present anyone could ask for. and i bet i wont be on his good girl list next year. heh ;)

yes yes. i know i have yet to upload the pictures. wait la ok.

dearest love,

2007-12-24T04:20:00.000+08:00

You know Im such a fool for you

You got me wrapped around your finger

Do you have to let it linger?

-the cranberries ; LINGER

pictures from the kl trip shall be uploaded soon.

bitchy post

2007-12-19T23:20:00.000+08:00

some people are just born plain stupid. due to this, i have something to blog about. i think im feeling bitchy lately. i just feel like punching someone. hah.

shuk says:
hello?
`=) ❤ RAWR! says:
yes?
shuk says:
intro?
name sape?
`=) ❤ RAWR! says:
sorry i don do intros
and isnt it obvious tt my name is yana?
tsk
shuk says:
tsk tu ape?

ni la manusia yg dilahir bodoh. seriously, i dont have time to do this intro thing. NAK INTRO INTRO PERGI IRC KE, ALAMAK KE. NOT MSN. AND KAU TANYE AKU TSK TU APE? KAU BODOH NAK MAMPOS.

im just so irritated lately. maybe i shud just jump down and die.

AND SOMEONE SENT ME TO WORK TODAY. YAY YAY. HE SENT ME TO WORK. ME ME ME MEMEMEMEMEME. NOT YOU. hah. byebye.

im bitchy and moody today.

and i will definately miss you. alot. i know you will most prolly get drunk, but please dont screw anyone. because.. well ya. u know what i mean. i'll be back soon. and you can... err..ya. meowww. :) and i want you to still be there when im back.

not a comeback post

2007-12-15T03:27:00.000+08:00

i have something to blog about.

thank you.

for coming down.

for coming back

just so you can say you miss me

and

give me kisses.

you made my day.

thank you.

you're so sweet.

ok bye people. im still on hiatus.

hiatus

2007-12-14T15:05:00.001+08:00

i will be on hiatus till further notice. i cant be bothered to do any blogging for the mean time. but there might be an overload of pictures soon. coz i have a date with izza hardcore. sheeshaaa-ing at haji lane and a massive camwhoring session. cant wait.

2007-12-14T14:10:00.000+08:00

say good bye to school.
today marks the start of holidays.
what am i to do this holiday?

i know,
work,
work,
work,
party,
work,
work,
shop,
party,
and
you.

yay. i wanna work my ass off this hols so the next pay wont be as disspointing. and i want to put in a little extra effort in you since you do put in any effort at all. heh.

so happy holidays people. im off to shop in KL from thursday till sunday. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2007-12-13T14:23:00.001+08:00

i really hope nothing changes after yesterday.
i really dont want you to walk away.
tell me what i can do to reassure you?
because i want you to stay.
i really do.
trust me.

and if you really walk away,
i want you to know how sorry i am.
:(

2007-12-13T13:07:00.000+08:00

this is my apology to all partners.

sorry for getting wasted last night. hah. i had a little too much to drink.

sorry to fana,aiman and the other 2 sb-bp boys who had to take care of me and sent me home.

sorry danny for calling you and making you worried.

sorry vin for leaving and not calling you back.

sorry everyone who was there.

sorry to you especially. very very sorry. i screw up last night. sorry. i shouldnt have called you.
:(

kiss number 2

2007-12-12T14:51:00.001+08:00

if i could put to words how i feel for you,
then, this whole post will be for you.

but idk what to say.
idk how to describe how i feel.

but im sure that,
i really really really like you.

i hope you feel the same way.

Sinar rembulan,

Menerangi jiwa,

Oh asmaraku,

Kau yang kurindu,

Hangatnya cintamu.

Hadirnya cintamu,

Membawa bahagia,

Dalam hidupku.

OK BYEEEEE?

i realy really

2007-12-12T11:24:00.000+08:00

good morning world.

im still thinking about it,
still talking about it.
still hoping.

starbucks annual partayyy today.
lets get high and happpy partners.

imy
ok bye?

2007-12-12T02:43:00.001+08:00

today i was in the most shy-est moments of my life. hah.

but me likey.
good night world. ive been happy lately. very very happy. today especially. somehow i have this feeling that something is not right.

paranoia? idk. lets sleep away. and stay happy. as long as i know ure still around, i will stay happy.

thank you very much for making me happy. :) and if you stay, im sure i'll be happier. still, i have this feeling this might go away or maybe you might go away. just like the rest.

goodnight you who make me happy.

2007-12-11T11:13:00.000+08:00

I
AM
HAPPY.

VERY
VERY
VERY
VERY
VEEEERYYYY
HAAAAAAAPPPPYYYYY

HOW
ABOUT
YOU?

if you still havent noticed my constant mood swings, then you're really blind. hah. dunno why i went all emo last night. but i do still want to replace my heart with a rock. because this time, if anyone choose to hurt me, i will take that rock and throw it in your face.

this episode of my wife and kids is hilarious.

you put the peanut in the peeeeeeenuuutt holee. haha. [inside joke la. dont give me that cb face when you read this ok!]

number 341

2007-12-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

so happy for what?
shut up la yana.

i hate me.
really.
so happy for what.

i feel like taking out my heart and replace it with a rock.

yes, a rock.

the kind that patrick lives under.

i hate me. bye

my letter to you

2007-12-10T14:11:00.000+08:00

dearest soulmate,

i hate it that you're taking so long to come and rescue me.
i hate it that u let me go through so much bullshit. ALONE.
i hate it that i always picture you in my dreams, but u always seem to be just that.
i hate it that ive been searching for you for so long.
and still,
you're nowhere to be found.
so,
i shall write this, in the hopes of finding you.

i cant wait for u to find me.
and finally take me away.
i cant wait for u to hold me in your arms,
and tell me how much you need me.
i cant wait to be beside you,
and know that u'll stay
i cant wait for you,
to bash up all those motherfuckers.
i cant wait to tell you things about me no one ever knew.
i cant wait to meet you. and fall in love with you.
till then,
i want you to know that im waiting.
i always have. and always will.

everyone just seem to be in love these days.

everyone's just so lucky.

shit ass.

happy happy mondayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2007-12-10T09:40:00.000+08:00

my cheeks hurt from all that smiling.
i am still smiling over what you said.
though its awkward,
but i like it.

heh

im happy today. are you happy? i am literally a jollilad today.
im having a good day today.
so,
if you think about ruining this day for me,
please fuck off.
you may resume to pissing me off tml.

thank you very much.

happy birthday to my baby, hammy.
u turn two months today. haha

2007-12-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

i cant wait for you to fall in love with me.
and share the same feelings i have for you.

i cant wait.
i feel,
i will always be a bystander
or maybe
just another bestfriend.

tskk. boys.

food galore

2007-12-09T03:15:00.000+08:00

i am craving for:

ikan bakar
blackpepper crab
calamari rings
buttered prawns
kangkong belachan
kailan in oyster sauce
sweet and sour fish
hotplate blackpepper beef
chicken briyani
laksa
nasi ayam goreng
egg prata
bee hoon goreng
chicken chop chilli chop chilli chop chop chop
fish and chips
ring-a-ding-a-ling ice cream from swesens
long john silvers
mcspicy
mcnuggets
mcchicken
and
all of grams dishes.

so many food. so little time. my mouth ia like literally watering right now. ahhhhhhhhh..

pay is so little. i expected more. i cant wait to visit grams. i miss her so much. and and.. anyone willing t go on this little makan expedition with me? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

2007-12-08T20:03:00.000+08:00

ive just had enough of all this ok.

everyone, just stop it la. stop all this irritating things. ok.

so what if she went out with my x. so what. i know tt already. so what if im pissed off. what the fuck can i possibly get out of it. lets clear the air ok. lets get this out in the open.

u know who u are la ok. think what u want to think. go ahead and think that i backstabbed u or whatever not. go ahead. this time, i know im not at fault. i have every right to be pissed at you. because this time, u went too far. as a friend, u could have clarified with me first rather than assumed things are wrong. its so typical of u right to act tt way. and i don care if u wanna go out with him or not. but u could have told me. it was the right thing to do. and to think that u can go around acting as if i was at fault. u are indeed one heck of a person.

so u ask, if i did anything wrong. ask urself this. what did i actually do wrong? in what way did advising ur bf to get back together with you wrong? ive showed u the chat logs. obviously thats not enough for u to be satisfied.

its ok. its clear now that u will choose bf over friends anytime. and yes, i heard this is not the first time this has happen. oh how is that a surprise. anyway, u have nothing to feel shitty about. u have ur clique against me, ur parents maybe and anyone that has been associated with me. isnt that a big accomplishment for u? so, stop talking about it la. its over. the damage has been done.

what more is that to say? i have every reason in the world to be against you and be angry. and u know it. i just dont understand how u can pretend what u did was not wrong. the last time it happened, I DID SAY SORRY. i apologised. if this is your way at getting back at me, then congratulations, u have achieved that. u should be proud of yourself. ur happier now anyway. u got eveything u want. so good luck. and get over it. since u think i backstabbed u twice, GET OVER IT. MOVE ON. STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. IT GETS YOU NO WHERE.

U HAVE ALOT OF SUPPORT ANYWAY. kudos. uve made alot of achievements this year.

hello people

2007-12-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

talk about a comeback. ahahaha. finally im back. from the dreaded hospital. yay!! like finally kan. so excited to be back in school. yes i was indeed excited. hahaha. i missed the whole PBL shiat and the smelly W1 toilet and the same old food and the stressfree zone of the carpark. ok la. it used to be. until i had to come across certain people. hah!

but its ok. u know what, its over, ive moved on. im happier. i now know who my true friends are. and i know who are true to me. so stop acting. one day, the truth will prevail. and i know, i will be the one having the last laugh.

how come ure the first person that comes to my mind when i wake up in the morning?

how come ure the only one i yearn to talk to?

why?

weeeeeeeeeeeee

2007-12-06T21:47:00.001+08:00

i am finally back from hospital. i feel so much better now. i just cant wait to go back to school! thank you everyone who came.

its gonna be payday tml. i cant wait! i cant wait! i cant wait! i cant wait to shop. should i go shopping tml after school? i really really need to take my mind of things. i nned someone to go shopping with though. anyone willing to spend 5-6 hours of non-stop walking/shopping and carrying 5-6 shopping bags. ok maybe more. hahaha. ANYONE?

OH OH OH AND YES. I HATE U. I REALLY DO. BOTH OF U. u know, u used to say WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND RIGHT? ohhhh man... i cant fucking wait for karma to kick the both of u in the ass. i cant wait.

TAG REPLIES!!

HAMBERG: its ok dude. im feeling better now. see u at store ok!

FANA,IZZA: AKU SAYANG KORG DUA. TAK AMEK GAMBAR PON TKPE. KORG TETAP AKU SYG. chey chey. hahahahaha

MAI SWEEDIE: SORRY ANJE. HEHEHE

KARZ: its ok. i didnt want anyone to know actually.

CAAH: ILY TOO babe.

2007-12-06T14:08:00.000+08:00

everybody just loves pissing me off. friends especially. its great.

i just hate everything that has been going on. and i pray for better days. but it has never been answered. everybody just seem to see the need to fucking irritate me, piss me off and shove everything right in my fucking face.

if somehow or rather u feel like this is meant for u, then good. open up ur eyes and wake up. grow up in fact. all this bitchness, or whatever ur agenda is, its only making u look like the biggest fool. i have no qualms about coming up to u and telling it to ur face, but it seems like everyone will be on ur side. so fuck it. ive seen right through ur hypocracy. and i don need anymore of it.

so, just fuck it. don even try to be nice. or say sorry or apologise, because obviously my feelings dont even matter to u. and that if this makes u happier, then my blessings go out to u and all ur great friends. may u be happier knowing that im not ever going to be ur friend anymore. and that i dont need u anymore.

KUDOS. U HAVE ACHIEVED WHAT UVE ALWAYS WANTED.

fun fun

2007-12-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

how much fun can one get in the hospital? let me show u. undenialbly, i am the epitome of fun! i was super bored ystd that i decided to take pictures of my pale ugly ol face. heh!

hahaha. pathetic kan. hahahaha. today my gfs came over t visit me. how sweet. i really did feel better after tt. heh. hahaha. don feel like gg home though. hhahaha. ok picturesssssssssss..

somehow camwhoring just makes me feel better. i do feel like an animal here. being all quarantine. having doctors checking me every 2 hours. ahhhhhhhhhhh. leave me alone. hahaha.

heres a big shoutout t everyone who came:
dearest
peeps,
thanks for taking time off to come and visit me. i really made me
feel better. the visit, the presents,the wishes, the late night
conversation is deeply appreciate. idk if i can ever thank you guys enough
but i will always be grateful.

to mummy;
thanks you for rushing down to the hospital despite u being tired from ur trip to msia. it meant alot to me. i love u mummy.

to daddy esp,

thanks for sending me t the hospital. thanks for being by my side throughout the whole observation period. thanks. it really mean alot to me. what u did ystd showed me that i do have a place in ur heart and i appreciate it. i have never said this to u before daddy, but i do really love u. thank you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on a lighter note, people have always wondered how i look like w/o makeup and photoshop kan. here you go morons. enjoy.

and and before i sign off, my bro said something "nice" t me. hahaha

"GET WELL SOON STUPID SISTER." LOL!

ok bye peeps. cant wait t go sch!

thank you for staying up with me. it meant alot. heeeeeeee. gimmmeeeeemoreeeeeeeeee

i abhor u!

2007-11-29T09:36:00.000+08:00

some people just lack originality in their writing.
their inspiration comes from other's blogs.
well, in this case, everything this person owns belongs to other people.

tskk.
despicable.

2007-11-28T13:43:00.000+08:00

HOW COME EACH TIME EVERYONE HAS A FUCKING MOOD SWING, I WILL BE THEIR PUNCHING BAG. I HATE U!

2007-11-28T02:59:00.000+08:00

i hate lonely nights.
i just hate them.
if only we could choose not to have them.
if only i could stay out all day.

i dont need a bf,
or a lover.
i just need a listening ear.
i need someone to tell me,
that they know how i feel.
that they will always be there for me.

what i want for now,
is someone to rely on.
someone to cry to.
someone to lean on.
someone to tell me that everything will be ok.

unfortunately,
everyone has been a dissapointment.

happy pill

2007-11-28T00:07:00.000+08:00

happy buttday? i miss those times. i really do. well everyone have to go someday.

today marks a huge step of my recovery process. I DELETED HIS MESSAGES. well maybe not all. idk. maybe im just so fucking stupid. i keep telling myself.. what if one day... ok shut up! i want to be happy. i want to be very very very happy. how long do u think it will take?

happy buttday girls.

we may have forgiven each other. but can we really forget?

):

2007-11-27T13:28:00.000+08:00

Rest in peace nenek.

she was my great grandmother.
she was funny.
she only came to see us once every year.
she was great.

its sad tt she had to go so soon. we were planning on visiting her soon.
if we had known, we should have stayed longer when she asked us too.
im sorry i never had a chance to get to know u better.
u would have been great.

this morning my great grandmother passed away of heart failure. i hope god will take care of her. i will miss going to KL just so we can joke ard with her. i hate it when death occur, it shows me how fragile life is. i havent made full use of my life. i always take things for granted. i hope, when its my turn to go, i wont die with regrets.

al-fatheha. semoga rohmu dicucuri allah. ):

money daddy!

2007-11-26T22:07:00.000+08:00

i couldnt wake up today. so i ponteng sch again. im so gonna get a bad GPA this sem. and miraculously someone came sch early. wahhhhh. not bad for a zoo animal. hahaha

i
want
to
eat
long
john
silver's
crunchy
shrimps.
although everyone knows tt im allergic to shrimps. haha.

i
havent
been
patronizing
mango,
zara,
topshop,
dorothy perkins,
forever 21,
queens couture,
bugis street,
flash and splash
for so fucking long. oh too long.

i need more
jeans,
bottom,
skirts,
lingerie,
cute tops,
tubes tubes tubes!!!,
cute dresses (i have non),
tank tops,
new cardigans,
bags,
super cute shoes,
in fact,
I NEED TO FUCKING REVAMP MY WHOLE CLOSET.

i cant wait for pay
i cant wait for pay
i cant wait for pay
i cant wait for dad's alimony
i cant wait for pay

estimated amount of cash by 12 dec, 700+++ or maybe less. heh

cant wait to finish them all off.

SAY BYE BYE

2007-11-25T11:40:00.000+08:00

today marks the first month of my singlehood. i wonder how long it will take me before i delete all his msges and pictures. i havent cried for so long. im happier these days. i havent been thinking about him either. this is a good sign of recovery. keep it up bitch. next step: learning to let go and really finally saying goodbye.

happypill made me smile in the morning!

scary shiat

2007-11-25T00:35:00.000+08:00

went out with MUHD DANIAL BIN KAMARUDIN AKA DANNY TAN GOH SIANG. hahahaha best seyy. funny shiat. i miss that shiat so much. lol.

ok. thats seriously not the point of this entry today.

sometimes i just hate train rides because it can get super duper irritating. as usual, the last cabin will be packed with all this stupid underaged matreps/minareps wannabe tapi tak jadi. and its so irritating because they make so much noise. and this minah had to stare at me. and she looked like this,

and shes really scary uh. im scared of minahs with tattooes especially. i have nothing against tattoes. seriously, i am ok with it. have as many as u want. but if ure a minah, im scared. scared like fuck. especially when they wear clothes that show their tattoo and they act as if the whole world have to be scared of them. *shivers*. minahs always have bad eyebrows and also shabby hair. and they stare at u like nobody's business. scareded sial. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

then the lasttttt cabin have to be filled with underaged kids. ALAMAK. WORSE SIAK NI. i cannot tahan. they switched on trance music or whatever shiat it was they we listening to. and they actually FUCKING SHUFFLED IN THE MRT. KIREKAN KORG BAGOS UH BOLE SHUFFLE. please eh. whats up with everyone and shuffling? if u wanna learn it, by all means, go ahead make ur fucking self happy. but if u wanna do it in the train, tts just plain stupid. anyway, think about it la. even IF u were in a club, do u think people will actually care if u can shuffle? u wont even have enough space to shuffle! and those kids arent even old enough to club OR HAVENT EVEN STEPPED IN A FUCKING CLUB BEFORE. ok la, lets not say tt about them. because im not even old enough to go clubbing. let me rephrase what i just said.. i dont think those fucking kids are even old enough to GET A FUCKING IC, HAVE SEX AND WATCH NC-16 MOVIES. hah. tts much better.

hahahaha. its so funny la. im so thankful to god that im no more in that phase of life and ive moved on. im very thankful for that.

ok bye!!!! im not angry ok. just so irritated. but how can i be angry? ive been happy lately. just so so so so so happy. i think i might be getting a little more dosage of my happy pill now. weeeeeeee~

happy very very happy

2007-11-23T14:16:00.000+08:00

im going to work later

i saw him just now

im going to work later

im happy today. just so happy.

how can i not be happy.

tell me?

HOW CAN I NOT BE HAPPIER?

im super duper happy.

because he's my happy pill.

am i making it obvious that im interested in u? am i? i don think so.

appropriate

2007-11-23T00:48:00.000+08:00

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.

Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change.

And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged.

I'm sorry honey, but I'm passing up, now look this way.

Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you.

Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,

They want and what they like it's easy if you do it right.

Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!

Whoa, I never meant to brag

But, I got him where I want him now.

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now.But god does it feel so good,

Cause I got him where I want him right now.

And if you could then you know you would.

my new fav song. all thanks to yana.j. PARAMOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! MISERY BUSINESS.

2007-11-22T15:10:00.000+08:00

i miss working. i miss the starbucks ambience. serious shit. i miss cup marking. i miss drink calling. i miss bussing. i miss workkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. i want to work. i miss work. i miss work.

eh J, satu hari amek gambar aku pakai uniform eh. mcm cool shit siak pakai apron sume. hahaahahahahah.

2007-11-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

what happened between me and ur PERFECT BOYFRIEND ended ages ago. it even fucking ended my relationship with my own boyfriend. think about it la, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO GO BACK TO SOMEONE WHO CAUSED MY MY RELATIONSHIP? its ok la. U RATHER BELIEVE UR OWN BOYFRIEND THAT UR OWN BESTFRIEND. I SAW THIS COMING. THE MOMENT U DIDNT TALK TO ME TODAY, I KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. AFTER ALL THE THINGS WE'VE BEEN THRU. THIS IS THE PATH U CHOOSE, AND TRUST ME, I WILL NOT WALK IT WITH U ANYMORE.

THERES JUST SO MUCH SOMEONE CAN TAKE. AND IVE HAD ENOUGH. AND FYI, I DELETED HIS FUCKING NUMBER ALREADY. SO HOW DO U FUCKING EXPECT ME TO MSG HIM FIRST.

THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD FRIEND. I FEEL SO BLESSED.

IM HAPPY NOW

2007-11-21T13:41:00.001+08:00

IM HAPPY NOW. HOW BOUT YOU?

hello :)

2007-11-21T10:53:00.000+08:00

i woke up late today. then my irritating brother had to bother by me waking me up 2387493874839274 times. then my mother had to call 2u3yiuw3y8y134783784 times to wake me up. so therefore, i conclude that im very very very cranky today. so dont piss me off. and on top of tt, this irritating asshole had to bother me.

asshole:hello ni yana eh?
me:ah asal?
asshole:yana mane eh? because i just change my number. and i checking who my contacts are.
me:TK KENAL LA. SALAH ORANG LA.
asshole: k takpe. kiter kenal2 sekarang eh.
me:NOT INTERESTED LA. IM LESBIAN.

so, mr 96453002, this is old tactic la. seen too much of it already. and its getting a little too passé, so please, come up with something better. try harder ok. and im too lazy to translate the conversation above. i hope to see ______ today. tt will definately make my day. so bye.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it disgust me how some people can just walk around thinking everything is ok. and then taking everyone else for granted.

i dont really know u

2007-11-20T14:11:00.001+08:00

hah hah hah.

fuck u.

i need to go out more. i felt so alive yesterday. now im still feeling like a train wreck again. maybe i should stop thinking about the stuppppppiidddd break up. i need someone to slap me back to reality. a huge big tight slap across my face. its over yana. its never coming back. move on because he has moved on too. stop being a big baby and start living ur life again.

i miss playing soccer. i want to kick some balls. hah. i want to go training. get myself back in shape again. and be happy. maybe eat more mcspicy drink more coke. and smoke less. yes less. smoke too much already. maybe i'll die even before i reach 30. hahhahaha.

i saw _______ today. made my day. but everyone knows its just another wishful thinking. i miss watching isa halim play. i want to see isa halim.

ok bye. thanks for wasting 3-5 minutes of ur life reading this entry.

balls

2007-11-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

metaphor
met·a·phor [méttə fàwr](plural met·a·phors)
noun
1.
implicit comparison: the application of a word or phrase to somebody or something that is not meant literally but to make a comparison, for example, saying that somebody is a snake
2.
figurative language: all language that involves figures of speech or symbolism and does not literally represent real things
3.
symbol: one thing used or considered to represent another

since we're on the subject of metaphors, this is an old analogy of mine but still, its appropriate for this situation:
men are like boobs. they are nice to look at, but they always get in the way.

balls.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
watched BEE MOVIE with vin. was quite nice actually. the bees were so CUTE. but i cant help thinking of_______. because i was so looking forward to seeing tt movie with him. and so i thought ive moved on. imu. goodbye

helooo arseface

2007-11-19T09:20:00.000+08:00

awwwwwwwwwwww. hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaahhahaahha.

msn oh msn. why cannot sign in? i want to ____________________. but u wont let me.

balls.

i need more sleep. someone was kind enough to keep me awake till 4.21 AM. i cant and wont sleep in the bus. i will definately look like the monster above. hah!

gg out with VINODHAN S/O GUNASEKARAN later. hahaha.

thoughts

2007-11-18T15:07:00.000+08:00

i know i've posted this pic alr. but its my favourite pic. so shut up. period.

after i went thru this break up, i realised that i hated this feeling. well everybody does.

i cant go thru another break up. its just too much to bear. or maybe, im through with relationships.

this time when i get myself into something, i will evaluate. seriously i will. i will make sure i know every single detail about him. get to know him better. dont rush into things. because only fools rush in. hah!

this time when i find myself a partner, i will make sure he can promise me enternity. i dont expect him to make me happy all the time. fights and disagreements are inevitable in every relationship. i only ask for ur time and patience. and that u will stay. stay for as long as u can.

this time, if he thinks he can last with me for just months, then im sorry. i want someone who can last me years. or maybe for the rest of my life. this time im serious.

this time, if u guys screw and piss me off, im gonna go all SAW 1,2,3,4 Hostel 1,2 on u. and i will make sure u suffer.

i have been feeling better lately. and my friends and family. have been great. and mum has been great too. shes giving me all the support i need. thanks mum. this means alot to me.

and to daddy, i hope u'll get well soon. i may not say it, in fact, ive never said it to u before, i do care and i miss u.

mundane saturday

2007-11-18T01:06:00.000+08:00

u guys rock balls. great job R and K

this is how i spent my saturday.

went to school to see ryna perform. she was great and im really proud of her. i hope she feels happy with what she had accomplised today. for more info please go to this blog.

ok pictures.

somehow i think this picture looks like neo print.

i have a good reason to smile.

and screw u haters.

tts my saturday. really.

ghaz,
uve been great this few days. uve been like a big brother to me. and it means alot to me knowing that u care.

benson,
thanks for the elephant. haha. its really cute.

ryna,
im super duper proud of u. i hope u feel good abt today. it was great seeing u dance. cant wait to dance with u!!

train wreck.

2007-11-16T19:37:00.000+08:00

i used to be the last person on earth who would watch S LEAGUE. hahaha. now, i watch and fantasise doing what they do. and then i try to use it on the pitch. but there's never a good opportunity to do so.

missing someone is like.......... smoking. its an addiction. u do everything just so u can get a little piece of tt person. i should stop doing that. it will only hurt me even more. im dying. really dying.

BUT.................................

TWO PEOPLE REVITALISED ME TODAY.

mr eyecandy waved at me. i swear i melted. hahaha

mr super duper uber hot eye candy said HELLO to me. alamak tt one, i piss in my pants. hahahahahah. and i hope ryna likes her prezzie. u'll get urs soon too girls. hoho.

ahhhhhh. i have to stop this urge. ~~i miss u like crazy, and ur busy with someone else. i miss u.~~

its funny coz i always tell people that everything will be ok, and they shud move on. but now that its happening to me, im a huge wreck. a huge langgar lori wreck. i think i need theraphy. i need to calm myself. i need to learn to relax and move on. and take things lightly. i think i need anger management too. i get angry too easily. and at stupid silly things. and they make me cranky. haiz. i am huge wreck. the biggest wreck that has ever walked this earth.

god,
please send
me a guardian angel,
to look over
me
to touch my heart and tell me things
will get better
to listen to
me
to take away the pain
please god
pleaseee

pre menses

2007-11-15T23:48:00.000+08:00

FUCK U PRE MENSES SYNDROME OR WHATEVER FUCK UR CALLED.

im so fucking pissed. my boobs hurt. and the weather had to be cold today. so my fucking swollen nipples keep on rubbing against my bra. and it hurts like fuck. sometimes i wish i can remove my fucking boobs and place it in the closet, and put it on only when i need them. then everyone tell me that its growing. I DONT NEED U TO FUCKING GROW. U BRING TOO MUCH NEGATIVE ATTENTION. although, i do have this empowering sensation when guys cant look me in the eye when they speak to me. hahaha..

then i thought about the amout i spent on hammy. too much la sey. so i re-counted and i found out i overpaid by 40 bucks plus. im gonna fuck them up tml. fucking assholes. lucky i keep the fucking receipt. asshole.

FUCK U

hammy's revamped crib

2007-11-15T20:55:00.001+08:00

i spent 90 bucks on hammy! hahaha. this shows how much i love him. hahahaha

i bought him a new cage. its pink!! damn nice. hahahaha
new bedding
new food
new bathing sand

all this for 90 bucks. hammy better be happy. hahahaha. i saw new little baby hamsters!! i wanna buy them. but im scared tt hammy might eat them up. hahahhaha.

wireless is finally fixed. yay!!! im so happy.

i need to shop

2007-11-15T10:46:00.000+08:00

i havent shopped in 29873827389173981273821737 million years. i swear im stressed from lack of new clothing material.

i cant wait for pay. and i'll save up the money dad's gonna give. so i'll have more cash to spend. and this tym when i shop, im gonna make sure that i buy the things that i NEED first. then when im satisfied, i'll buy the wants. hahaha.. lets see if thats gonna happen.

and i wanna revamp hammy's errr house? hahahaha. and i think i wanna buy another hamster.to keep him company. but im afraid that they might eat each other up. and tt i might not recognise my own hammy anymoreeeeeee. :(

and i think hammy is just so cute. and someone is just so fucking irritating. shut the fuck up will ya? ARSEHOLE

dissapointment

2007-11-15T09:48:00.000+08:00

hello everybody. if u dont know me, well now u will. i am sally, yana's alter ego. well obviously, i am much more irritating then she is, but i am stronger than her. i hate yana. SHES WEAK. TOO WEAK. moving on...............

everybody is just so self-obsessed with beauty and not being themselves. and one day, yana and i will be one of this people. why? because we have to fit in. if not we'll be ostracised and abandoned by probable new friends that we HAVE to make.

well sorry yana. we're such a dissapointment. we will become someone we hate the most.

♥ ur alter-ego

sally nicole keller.

bad day

2007-11-13T08:51:00.000+08:00

ystd was sucky.

backstabbers were in my group. and i had to pretend that i enjoy working w them.
the movie that i hoped to watch on my way back from work turned out to be in french
i spilled steamed milk all over the floor and myself
i spilled more frap mix all over the floor.
i was alone in the train and saw a fight.

could the day get any better? bar test today. haiz. wish me luck. after that screw up at work ystd, im afraid that i might not be able to make it. i need someone to be there for me. is this a sign of desperation? haiz.. having the idea of someone to be there for me at the end of the day and tell me that everything will be ok, is so beautiful. wishful thinking yana. WAKE UPPPPPP.

goodluck for UT republicans.

2007-11-12T09:02:00.000+08:00

BACKSTABBER.

SUAY SUAY SUAY. i rather work w ________ then work w BACKSTABBERSSSSSSSS.